Well, Well, Well.

I don’t even want to take a peak at how long it’s been since I posted here. Because let’s admit it’s been far too long. In the time since I’ve been here I have been one hell of a yo-yo dieter. To extreme levels. Well, actually, maybe not so much extreme yo-yoing as it is extreme bad choices, gaining weight, and then feeling guilty for a day (an hour?) before screwing up again.

My will power. Sucks.

So here’s the deal. I’m back at it. Fall off, jump back on. Does that create yo-yoism? To keep trying? I’m not sure. Regardless, I’m taking another stab at whole30. It’s a strange time to try it considering I’ll be doing a lot of traveling in the upcoming months but now is the time and I shall put my best foot forward.

So today is Day 2 and so far a successful one at that. I know Saturday I will fall off the wagon because I know that I am 1. Going to drink beer at Preakness and 2. There will probably be extremely limited Whole30 friendly food choices at Preakness. I am going to attempt to pack something Whole30 friendly though, but let’s face it – once the beer starts flowing chances are the shitty foods will follow. And I’m going to feel bad. And then I’m going to go RIGHT back to it. I won’t cheat when I’m at my friend’s house before hand or after. I won’t cheat on any days up to or following. I know that it’s going to be a bad day. So I guess my whole30 will once again be restarting on Sunday. From what I read, if you fall off you have to restart. Dammit.

I think that’s part of my problem with this plan though. Slips aren’t tolerated. And let’s face it, sometimes you just need a cookie. Or sometimes there are just occassions when…

I mean, sure I could just not go to preakness, but I do want to have fun with my friends… Le Sigh… we shall see.

I’m also working on quitting smoking (which will also suffer on Saturday with the beer issue…). Yup, I’m taking a whole bunch in at once. Maybe I’m setting myself up for failure. Maybe I’m just so sick of being unhealthy. Also, 2 consecutive days at the gym. Let’s try for 3 tomorrow (everything goes so well the first few days before the weekend comes and it falls to shit…)

 

Current Weight: 172. (As of yesterday). No more weigh ins for 30 days. YIKES!!

 

Guess Who’s Back, Back Again?

FTFM is back, tell a friend. Not as catchy as Shady, eh?

Oh well. Hello friends! I have returned (for the 3.2 of you that care ;D ). I’ve got to say I got kind of swallowed alive with the holidays. Since I have the new house of course we did all of the holiday gathering here and of course my house looked like tornadoes came through. It. Was. Awesome. But it did indeed take a minute to settle from.

Luckily, all the craziness of the holidays has not halted my fitness/weightloss/health journey. 

At today’s weekly weigh-in I am happy to report I am down 12 pounds since I started this shindig, and I took new measurements – 4 inches off the waist, 2 from the hips, 2 from the thighs!

 

I’m actually really excited about this. And wonderfully enough, it is starting to be visible to others too, which is completely motivating in and of itself. When someone tells me I look good or that they can see I’ve lost weight – that totally pushes me to do even more! No, it’s not for them however knowing it’s  working and noticeable and not just a “waste of time” definitely helps!

Since I’ve been here last, I have also started physical therapy for my broken back! It is excellent to finally be doing even a small amount of exercise again. I don’t do much exercising at home because I am still a bit reluctant to hurt myself more. There’s no way I can take being down longer than I’m already prescribed. The PT has been wonderful though. I get in a little cardio and a bunch of core work. Nothing crazy hardcore of course, because I am still injured, but it’s nice to be doing something and I do feel it’s benefitting me, especially in my goals.

I’m pretty stoked with this exciting start to 2013 that didn’t even start as a resolution (because I break resolutions. Always. And this I will not back down from!) But I do have some goals, of course, that go along with this journey.

  1. Better sleep. As a raging insomniac this is a tough one. But I keep reading more and more that sleep really does help with weightloss and of course overall health. Hell, if I can lose weight by sleeping why would I refuse?!
  2. Less cheats. It’s true. I’m a cheater-cheater-cupcake eater. Not really cupcakes. But you get my drift. I need to stay strict and on the straight and narrow!
  3. More crunch. I’m a pretty crunchy mama. I try to keep things pretty natural. But this year I’m looking forward to going more natural. Different things from no’pooing (I’ll totally be detailing that experience) to natural face cleansers to natural home cleansers. I’m really curious about the difference and pretty excited to try something out. And what will make it even cooler is once I get my garden up again – come on spring!
  4. Physical activity. This of course is a tricky one with the back situation, but I’m trying to remain physical active as much as possible. Once I’m cleared by the PT/doc, I want to really go hard. Ok, let’s be real, I’m going to have to progress – but still!
  5. Good posture! This was brought up during PT and how much it really is helpful to your whole body it sit and stand up straight. It also engages your muscles and gives you a mini workout through out the day. And I am all about burning the cals/feeling the burn with the least effort possible 😉

So how’s every one else doing here in 2013? Having fun fighting the gym crowds? I try not to be hostile because those people are just like me trying to change themselves for the better. Even if the resolutionists only last one week (or one day) at least they made some effort, as much as an inconvenience as it may be. And I was one hell of a resolutionist at one point myself!

Oh, also an inspiration for me lately is checking out some before and after photos. So if that helps you too, check out this site, it’s got some pretty awesome photos, Before and After Weight Loss and if you’re looking to get your crunch on I’ve recently stumbled across The Pistachio Project and, frankly, I’m addicted.

Hope everyone out there in cyberspace is moving forward to your goals! Happy hump day!

Every Drop Counts

A little more progress to report. At today’s weigh in, 166.8. Wooot!! I’m pretty excited that even with the holiday cheats happening here and there, I am still in the weight descent. I know I probably weigh myself too frequently, I’ve really got to choose a day and just do it weekly or bi-weekly. But I get too curious. Oh well.

I’ve been doing pretty good. I’m not gonna lie, I still cheat here and there. But like I’ve said before, attempting this has at least made me really pay attention to what I’m putting in my body and it definitely makes me think about it and make a conscious decision before eating. I no longer just numbly throw things in my mouth. And that is a huge step in the life change category. 

I do see, however, why the Whole9 suggests not beginning a Whole30 during holiday season. It just ain’t easy and in my world it’s kind of impractical. But it is definitely helpful to keep it in mind during the holiday season because it has helped me to drop pounds instead of the normal pattern of gaining weight! I think in the spring I’ll redo my Whole30 and do some serious sticking to it. For now it’s a slightly modified Whole30 haha.

How’s everyone else doing? Anyone else exhausted? Man, I wish my insomnia would disappear. Insomnia is a miserable, miserable bitch. She and I get into it every single night. Well, more like the wee hours of the morning. It’s a long fight. I usually end up winning after 2 or 3 hours.

Ok now off to watch Scooby Doo Christmas. More later. Deuces.

Total Screw Up

I messed up, guys. Bad. I had been cheating here and there because hey it’s holiday time. So I’d have a Christmas cookie with the baby, or a teeny tiny bite of mac n cheese for my birthday (and by teeny tiny I’m being literal – it was 2 noodles. That’s amazing will power for me). But last night. Oh last night. I was so bad.

Girl’s night got me. They had fondue. Oh chocolate. And fruit and pretzels. The fruit went first and did I stop at that? Nope. I had pretzels in fondue, too. It tasted SO good. And I just. kept. going. It was BAD. I feel terrible. The little cheats, I didn’t feel so bad about. Last night’s binge. I feel awful. I’ve let myself down and failed. 

Today, I jumped right back on the bandwagon. And I’ll be staying there. When I weighed myself tonight, I’d gained about 2 pound. So I’m up to 168.8. Last night I remember thinking Shit, I’ve gained back every stupid pound I got rid of. 

This is supposed to be a life style change but it is so hard. I love chocolate. I love cheese. I know we can gradually add a little back after the thirty but how am I going to keep from losing control again? Maybe this was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. That I feel like crap when I lose control and therefore I can’t let it keep happening.

I’m a food addict. I can no longer let foods control me. If I want to reach my goals and have a healthier lifestyle and a sexier, healthier me – I’ve got to stay on track. Even during girl’s nights in. 

Oi, I need help guys. Anyone else completely screw up? I need your advice, and I need your love. 

How to Make Yourself Feel Better

With all this “perfection” on TV and in magazines and well, all over the media, sometimes it’s hard to feel good. Airbrushed photos make you wish you had her ass, her boobs, and those killer arms. It sucks. I’ll never be an airbrushed person. In fact, no one will. It’s really irritating that the media does that. At least I’m old enough to realize that there’s no way in hell I’ll ever look like that and if I keep trying I might get close but no matter what I’ll still be me. But for the younger gals, well that’s just tough. It’s tough to realize there’s a reality apart from the magazines. Booo.

So, sometimes when I’m watching TV or looking in a mag I find flaws. It’s not a very nice habit, but it helps. Like “Oh at least I don’t have her nose” or “Gosh she’s got bags under her eyes.” Like I said, not too nice, but whoever said I was a nice person?
Tonight I was thankful I don’t look like Tori Spelling. Mean? Yes. But I’m sorry for a celebrity that girl is homely. I think she looks like a drag queen. I’m sure there are dudes that are totally about her. I don’t see it but to each their own – beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, right?

Ok ok bitchiness aside, things have been okay for me. Couple little wrong-doings here and there. Don’t even want to call them cheats because they weren’t full on cheats, they were good honest attempts at sticking to it, just where I was eating (restaurants – the death of me!) made it difficult. Each day I go off track though, even just a little bit, I’ve decided I’m going to add that day back on at the end. So now I’m up to a whole33 because I’ve got 3 days I slipped a bit. I am almost positive I will slip on my birthday too. 

But like I said, from this experience I am learning. I am learning about choices, about not giving in to the food whispering in my ear, and learning what my body is telling me. 

I’ve lost a total of 7 pounds so far WOO HOO! And my jaw is still feeling great. I have been UBER cranky lately. I wonder if that has anything to do with this. Some days I just want to give in and eat a bunch of cookies. I bet that would make my mood happy but then SUPER low when I felt SUPER guilty. So I resist. Because I am awesome.

Ok folks, hope everyone is doing well out there – staying on the wagon, making good choices – all that jazz!