Well, hello again, blog world. Funny thing is, I know you but you don’t know me. Is that fair? Not really, but it’s how it’s going to work. For now, anyway. Patience, my friends, is a virtue.
So why am I hear under the cover of anonymity, you might ask? Well, it’s time. It’s time I make some changes in my life for the better, and what better way to document my changes and really evaluate them over time than in blog form? I’ve decided to keep it anonymous because I don’t really want anyone to know that I’m doing this just yet. I don’t want the huge pressure of success of failure from people knowing. Sure, I want to succeed. But for once, I want to succeed for me. So here I am just me, hiding, documenting.
I suppose I’ll tell you a little about this enigmatic persona on the other side of the screen. I am 26 years old and the mom to a beautiful almost three year old girl. I am a single mom, not by choice but by sad circumstance, but with amazing family and severe stubborness I push onward.
My weight has been an issue for me back through high school. I was a skinny, leggy kid and then as puberty hit curves did as well and I didn’t really know what to do with them. I never wore clothes that fit properly and I yo-yo dieted. I was relatively tall compared to most of my friends, standing around 5′ 6″. Through college, I found myself constantly comparing myself to my thinner friends and never measuring up in my own eyes, although now I’d be happy to be that “fat” again. I was around 150 then. After college, I enjoyed a rather boisterous lifestyle, and of course the added calories in the drinks I so often indulged in weren’t doing much for my figure. I met my husband shortly after graduating from college and not long after that we were married. He thought I was beautiful and for once I truly felt beautiful. Not long after we were married, we found out we were expecting. We were over the moon. Unfortunately, I used pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. By the end of my pregnancy I had gained around 40 pounds, weighing in between 190 – 195 pounds. When my daughter was born, I found the extra skin on my stomach to be sickening. I worked hard to get it off but my life was turned upside down yet again by the passing of my husband. From the stress and the grief and pain, I quickly dropped weight. It wasn’t a healthy way and of course it hasn’t stayed off.
These days, I am weighing in at 176.8. On my 5’6″ frame, it doesn’t look as bad as it “could” but it doesn’t look good, either. I don’t feel healthy and I don’t feel beautiful, least of all sexy. For once, I want to feel beautiful myself. I want to improve my health, my looks, my fitness. I want to be fitter, leaner, and over all healthier. I don’t want to feel tired all the time. I don’t want to ache. I want to see if I can nip some of my health issues I’ll be discussing in the bud by changing my eating patterns.
This is not some short-lived New Years Resolution. The sole reason I want to start before New Year’s is because I don’t want to get rapped up in the start and quit that is my New Year’s Resolutions.
So here I am. Here is my fitness and health journey with a little life thrown in.
Fasten your seat belts, folks. It’s gonna be one hell of a ride.
Flab to Fit Mom 